Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!  What a wonderful day to just give thanks for the ones we love.

I know that I sure am thankful for today.  I get to celebrate a relationship of nearly 9 months with my boyfriend, Joshua Bate.

Our relationship has grown so much within the time that we've been together.  We've had awesome times of laughter and fun, and we've also had some times of serious growth.  Through it all, God has had his hand on us.  He helped us understand each other and taught us how to encourage each other.  Something that has had a big impact on our relationship are the 10 ways to love:

1. Listen without interrupting 2.  Speak without accusing 3.  Give without sparing 4.  Pray without ceasing 5.  Answer without arguing 6.  Share without pretending 7.  Enjoy without complaint 8.  Trust without wavering 9.  Forgive without punishing 10.  Promise without forgetting

God has used this list to show us our selfishness and one way thinking.  Through the reality of selflessness and care for each other, Josh and I have really enjoyed our time together.

On this Valentine's Day, I'm so thankful for Joshua.  I'm thankful for the time, love, effort, money, energy and so much more that he has poured into me.  I'm thankful for the patience and grace that he's given me.  I'm thankful for all of the wonderful memories that we've created.  I'm thankful for the tough things that God has helped us overcome.

Thank you God for all you've given me.  Thank you for the gifts that keep on giving.  Thank you for Joshua Bate.

Into Marvelous Light

Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth
You are the life, You are the way

I once was fatherless
A stranger with no hope
Your kindness wakened me
Awakened me, from my sleep

Your love it beckons deeply
A call to come and die
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take Your life

Sin has lost it's power
Death has lost it's sting
From the grave You've risen
Victoriously

Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth
You are the life, You are the way

My dead heart now is beating
My deepest stains now clean
Your breath fills up my lungs
Now I'm free, now I'm free

Sin has lost it's power
Death has lost it's sting
From the grave You've risen
Victoriously

Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth
You are the life, You are the way

Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth
You are the life, You are the way

Lift my hands and spin around
See the light that I have found
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

Lift my hands and spin around
See the light that I have found
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light

Sin has lost it's power
And death has lost it's sting
From the grave You've risen
Victoriously

Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth
You are the life, You are the way

Into marvelous light I'm running
Out of darkness, out of shame
By the cross You are the truth
You are the life, You are the way

Lift my hands and spin around
See the light that I have found
Oh the marvelous light
Marvelous light, marvelous light


Marvelous Light
Songwriters: Hall, Charles Eugene

Feeling Thankful

Today, I couldn't help feeling thankful.  The longer I'm alive, the more I find that God has given me to be thankful for.

Looking back on BASSYCS this week and past sins, I have been thankful for the forgiveness that God gives.  We do not deserve it at all.  Jesus --on his way to the cross; being spit upon, mocked, and beaten-- chose to forgive us.  We can still live our lives for him and have eternal life, because God forgave us.

Not only that, but God gave us the strength and determination that we need to overcome sin.  He gives it continuously and does not ever give up on us.  His word is there to support us and encourage us in doing right.  I am so thankful for that.

I'm thankful that God places a fire in our hearts and a longing for him.  He fulfills us like no one else can, he gives us a joy that is found no where else, and he will never leave us.

I'm thankful for a wonderful college, a phenomenal boyfriend, an awesome wing, an incredible roommate, and a crazy great wing retreat!

God, I have so many other things to thank you for.  These are the things that have been the most prevalent in the past week or so.  Continue to show me blessing upon blessing, and do not let me ever forget to thank you.

No One Said it Would Be Easy

This week was Spiritual Renewal at Taylor, and Rodney VanSolkema preached through the story of Joseph and his brothers.  I learned a lot about conquering pride and temptation.

As you might know (if you have kept up with my blogging), I struggle a great deal with pride.  I was so thrilled to hear new ways to conquer my pride.  His example came from Genesis 37, where Joseph is proud of his coat and dreams.  Rodney shared that Joseph could not overcome pride without being in the pit.  Joseph could not have overcome his pride unless he had been thrown into a pit and sold into slavery.  This is too true.  It is easy for me when I undergo stressful situations or what I feel to be hopeless situations to feel like I don't deserve it.  What an example of my pride! I don't deserve the pit? Yeah right!  God has given me pits, so that I can find humility.  I need to recognize that I deserve the pit and nothing else!

As for temptation, Rodney gave the example in Genesis 39 of Joseph running from Potiphar's wife.  She threw herself at him day after day, yet he still refused her.  It was not easy, but he had to say no.  He knew what was right, and he chose to follow Christ over his own desires.  Psalm 119 talks about loving the Lord's commands, rather than just grudgingly following them.  I want to choose to say no to temptation, no matter how difficult it is.  I want to love the Lord's commands and long to follow them always.  Temptation, bring it on!  God's on my side, and he can transform me.

God, only through you can I overcome my pride.
Only you can help me flee from temptation.
Give me confidence and security in you.
Help me to fall in love with your commands.

Life is Bigger than Me

Yesterday, I came to a realization that was not in any way new, but it struck me as something I don't think about much.  My life and how I live is completely to please myself.  I know what I want, and I live for what I want- what's comfortable, cute, and fun.  Sure, that's all great for a little while, but living like that just leaves me feeling empty.  It leaves me wanting something more and constantly striving to make myself a more likable person and to satisfy my wants.

But when I can get my mind off of myself and my wants, I realize that there is something so much bigger going on here.  I live in a world created by God, and without him, I would be dead.  When I think about it, my wants really do not make me alive.  Christ and living for him is what makes me alive; in fact, it is what I was created for.  So if I'm just sitting around, looking to fulfill myself by things other than Christ, I am completely shutting out God's purpose for me, and I will never find satisfaction.  It is only through living my life for God that I can feel fully satisfied and fulfilled.

In BASSYCS last night, we recited Mark 16:15, "He said to them, 'Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.'"  This is what we were created for- to bring glory to God and share our faith with others.  My group talked about how this might not necessarily always mean going up to friends or strangers and asking, "Do you know Jesus?"  We can be a witness to others in the way that we act, we can pray for others, and we can love others the way that Jesus loves us.

Am I doing that?  Is my goal to live like Jesus did and bring him glory?  When I look at how my life is right now, I will honestly say no.  I've become so caught up with making my life perfect and doing the things that I want that I lose sight of why I'm really here on this earth.

The time is now to turn my focus to my creator.  The time is now to live for God and not myself.  The time is now to satisfy myself in prayer and worship with Jesus.

Praise God for loving us no matter what.  Praise God for using us in his great mission.  Praise God for changing our hearts.


Make me a living sacrifice for you, Lord.

Friends

Friends.  They are the people that mold us and shape us.  They encourage us and spur us on.  They listen and advise.  They love us no matter what.


Tonight was just a wonderful reminder of how blessed I have been to have been given the friends that I have.  I got the chance to sit down and talk with my best girl friends at college.  We shared our testimonies of what God has done in our lives up until now.  We ended in a Spirit-filled prayer that fueled us for the upcoming week and all that God will use us for.  What a magnificent way to praise God.  I left feeling so refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the world (with God's help of course)!

There was one thing that really struck me most about our time.  I realized a recurring theme throughout all of our testimonies.  Friends played one of the biggest roles in being far from God or near to him.  I thought about how blessed I have been to have good friends and how lonely I have felt when I haven't had good friends.  It made me think, what difference could I make by being a friend to the friendless?  Rather, what could God do through me if I let him?  What if I let him use me to be a refreshment and encouragement to others?

I need to overcome my pride and become a servant to others.  My concern needs to shift from the comfort of myself to the needs of others.  If I am willing to do this, I am confident that I will see much more clearly the kingdom of God constantly at work.

Thank you God for the friends that you have blessed me with at college and at home.  Thank you for how they have spurred me on toward your kingdom.  Help me to put away my pride, take on humility, and become a servant and friend to everyone that I come into contact with.

"Heavenly Father, You always amaze me.  Let your kingdom come in my world and in my life.  Give me the food I need to live through today, and forgive me as I forgive the people who wrong me.  Lead me far from temptation.  Deliver me from the evil one." - Your Love is Strong

Refocus

It does not take much to get distracted from the things that are most important in life.  Something traumatic might happen.  A few annoyances might pile up.  Or you might just get caught up in your own daily routine.

It is not difficult to pinpoint when you have lost the main focus of your life, or deviated from the purpose you are working toward.  It is difficult to figure out how to change.

As I sit back and look at my life, I feel like I know who I want to be.  I want to be a pretty, stylish sort of girl.  I want to be interesting and intriguing.  I want to be encouraging and loving.  I want to be creative and crafty.  I want to be a people person.  I want to be slightly athletic.  I want to be a thoughtful learner and reader.  But above all else, I want to be a woman defined by Christ.

Would you just look at that description of who I want be?  Maybe its becoming more obvious why I am getting so distracted.  I just create this image of who I want to be, and how I want to change, so much that I choose not to focus on where God wants me and where I need to change most.

I want to be a woman of God.  I want to be amazed and encouraged by the his word.  I want to be so focused on prayer that God is always on my mind.  I want to be so overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit that I am fully convicted of sin and compelled to say no to it.  I want to be full of joy in the Lord and joy in myself so that I can focus my energy on loving and encouraging others.

Let's be real.  It's pretty hard to know where to start.  I mean, when I've fallen so behind.  How can I fully refocus and find my fulfillment in the King of Kings?  Do I start by focusing on prayer or spending time in the word?  Do I try to shift my focus to others or do I change my attitude to one of joy in the Lord?  I feel like I need to pick on place to start, but I just don't know where.  What I do know is that I will get no where by bantering about where to start!  So I'm just going to have to pick something!

Starting now, I am going to begin refocusing on prayer.  Prayer that God would motivate me.  Prayer that God would change my heart to be more concerned with him than anyone else.  Prayer that God would fill me and satisfy me more than anything in the world.  Prayer that my faith would be real and genuine.

God, seriously change me.

Keep me in prayer and remind me of you every hour.

Refocus me and satisfy me.

You are a good, good God.