Self-control

Well, it has been a while since I last blogged, but I feel that I have some important things to think through. Recently, I have recognized a few habits that I have developed. The things that I am doing aren't so bad, but I can't seem to stop. Sure, if someone asked, I might say "I can quit at anytime, I just don't want to." After many years of that excuse, I've decided that I need to. Like I said, drinking diet coke or any of my other habits may not be bad in themselves, but can I control myself enough to not do them?

The past few weeks, I have tried to stop buying food or drinks. (This would actually be possible since I live with my parents, and they will buy my food for me.) I decided to do this mainly because I have been spending a lot of money that way, and it's not completely healthy for me. Can you guess what? It was hard to stop! I have become so used to simply satisfying those desires that it was very difficult not to give into my craving! My excuses did not stop coming. "It's only a dollar!" "I can get a free drink if I keep buying them!""But it's friday!" "I'm tired! I need caffeine!" I'm not kidding- I used all of those and more. It wasn't then until I started to realize that this isn't just a spending money issue or a potential health issue. This is a character and maturity issue.

If I cannot resist a simple diet coke, then how will I resist the temptations of truly harmful things? How will I resist sin or bad decisions if I allow myself to make excuses like this? The answer is simple- I won't. Now that right there is an issue. The inability to keep myself from buying a simple diet coke shows me that I am lacking in self-control.

After I pin-pointed the issue, I discovered that it was true! I am lacking self-control in more areas than just buying snacks. I will not list all of them but I could list at least 6 areas of my life in which I am unable to exercise self-control. I feel that this issue is partly based on laziness and the longing I have to be comfortable. This needs to change.

Today I am making a list of ways that I can and need to be self-controlled. In a sense, ways that I can be "a living sacrifice" -sacrificing my laziness and comfort in order to grow closer to Christ and his will for me. I will need to make a conscious effort in order to make these changes, and even trying to change them will be a constant reminder of who I'm living for and striving to be more like. (Jesus...if you didn't catch that!)

I could use your prayers as I embark on a journey of living a different life- a life of self-control!

Lord, give me determination and strength to overcome my issue of self-control.
Teach me the importance of self-control, and grow me to become more like you.

Psalm 119:9-16

How can a man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you. Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes! With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth. In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches. I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways. I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.

The Holy Trinity-- NOT the Holy Duo

I must say, that it's been a while since I've blogged last.  I just want you all to know that it has not been because I've not been focused or learning.  In fact, this has been the most I've learned in a while.  Maybe even the biggest lesson in my life that I have learned.  I have neglected to share it with you on my blog because I feel that it is too personal, but I may just let you know from what I've learned that God is great and he is using me in my weakness.  Praise Him!

What I write about today, is about something different though.  A matter that I've been thinking about and learning about over the past few days.  It is this: God  lives inside of me.  I know, I know.  I'm famous for writing cliche statements like this on my blog, but hey!  It's true!  He has blessed me with the Holy Spirit who is living inside of me.

The reason that I am blogging today is to remind myself and my readers that God is THREE in one, not just two in one.  When I am praying and even when others are praying, I notice that the names of God mentioned are normally God, Jesus, and Lord.  It is very infrequently that I ever hear someone pray to the Holy Spirit.  But why don't we?  And why did I feel almost uncomfortable recently when I began praying to the Holy Spirit?  Why is it so unfamiliar?  The Holy Spirit is as much God as Jesus is.  He is a part of the three in one, the trinity.

Not only did I realize that I rarely pray to the Holy Spirit, but I neglect him in my thoughts.  I do not often feel strong convictions, and sometimes I do not have an awareness of God's presence.  This seems like a lack of recognition of the Holy Spirit.  I have numbed myself to his convictions, and I have closed my ears to his guidance.  I have not allowed him to use me fully, because I have blocked him out.

Over these past couple of days, I have been praying that I would hear the Holy Spirit.  I have been praying that he would convict me and make me aware of his guidance.  Praying that I would follow his guidance.  It has been awesome to see how he has made himself known to me and shown me himself through others.  I can see in some of my close friends how the Holy Spirit is leading them to say certain things and convicting them of certain things.  What an encouragement that is to me and my walk with Christ.

The Holy Spirit is so necessary in our walk with Christ.  We cannot forget him.

Holy Spirit, convict me.

Make me more like God.

Guide me and let me feel you move.

Amen.

A Word to the Wise

"You won't persuade people by making them angry.  You'll only make them stick to their positions more stubbornly.  Think of an argument not as a battle, but a dialogue...both sides exchange ideas as they search for a solution." -Neva Schwartz

"Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath!  Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil.  For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land." - Psalm 37:8-9

Where the Spirit of the Lord is There is Liberty

There is a song that I have really grown to like this year.  It is Where the Spirit of the Lord is by Chris Tomlin.  Just the idea of finding freedom through the Spirit of the Lord gives me joy, but I feel like I didn't quite understand the type of freedom that the song is talking about.

What am I freed of through the Spirit of the Lord?  I am free from the bondage of sin.  What a bold statement that is (that was a pun).  But seriously.  Some may think of Christianity as a lack of freedom- a list of rules and restrictions.  Praise God that that's not what it is at all!  Rather, the Holy Father gives us freedom.  We are no longer held to sin, but we are forgiven by the Lord and called to bring him glory.  This is not something that holds us down, rather it is something that we are free to do and are excited to do.  What a beautiful and perfect freedom that is.

So, if we are free from sin- free to bring God glory in the way that we live- than why would we still be living in sin??  WE ARE FREE!  Let's live like it!

God, thank you for the freedom that you provide.
Thank you that I am free to live for you.
Thank you that I am encouraged and protected by your law,
rather than restricted by it.
Thank you that through your help I can say no to sin,
because of the freedom that you have given me.
Thank you for this Monday and a great start to my week.

Beginning Lent

Today is the beginning of lent.  I can't help but see this time as an opportunity to draw near to God and seek his face.  This year I am giving up my straightener and watching tv shows.

I thought that blogging would help me to really consider the goals I have for this season of lent.  Recently, I would say that I have been on a roller coaster ride with my faith and pursuit of God.  During church, BASSYCS, and chapels, I have been excited by God, overwhelmed by conviction, and motivated to change.  But in the distractions and disruptions of my life, I find myself losing sight of prayer and God's word.

My goal during lent is to be focused on why God put me here: for His glory.  I want to eliminate tv shows from my daily schedule so that I can choose to give that time to God.  I want to recognize the impact that these shows have on the way that I act and think, and I want to realize the person that I will be without them.  My goal in giving up my straightener is to be more comfortable with how God created me, and be less obsessed what I feel others may think about me.  My goal is to use this time to be more secure in him.

My biggest goal, however, is to be consumed by Christ.  I want my actions to be an overflowing of the Holy Spirit within me.  I want my choices to reflect the God who saved me.  I want to have a self-less faith.

Gah!  Pretty ambitious I am eh?  It's gonna take a prayer warrior to follow through with these goals!  Because I can only do these things through Christ's strength.  It's time to pray for God to watch over these 40 days, and really open my heart for what he's going to do.



God, give me strength and give me passion.
Help me to focus my heart and mind on you.
May my thoughts, actions, and words reflect you.
Teach me something amazing in these 40 days
and consume me with your burning fire.

You Hold My World in Your Hands

Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad
... ... ... ..
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children

It's easy when we go through different trials to think "Why me?" or to think "Why this, God?"  I always think to myself, "couldn't God have chosen something else?"  But guess what? God knows what he's doing.  He has a reason for the trials that he's allowed in your life.  We might not see the point, and we might not see how it could possibly help us, but God does.

Even Jesus looked for a different way when he asked God in the garden of Gethsemane if this cup could be taken from him, but God had a plan (Luke 22:39-46).  There was not another way for Jesus to overcome our sin and death itself.  So Jesus died for us.  He endured the pain of a horrible and hateful death, because God was in control and God loved us.

Is God not trustworthy?  I think he's proved not only through Christ's death, but also through the many situations in the Bible, and through my own experiences.  Because God clearly is trustworthy and in control, I am called to trust him, no matter what trials he chooses to allow me to have.  I can rest and find peace in God's perfect plan.  "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Although the cartoon above is full of small things that are maybe insignificant, I think that this is a perfect example of the fact that we often just blame these things on God, when he really is working in some way that we are not aware of.

God, teach me to trust.
Allow me to see how you're working in my life.
Give me peace, joy, and rest in your word.