During freshman year, I have realized an interest that I have in either teaching inner-city or overseas. This realization has shown me something that would be incredible but also incredibly uncomfortable. This summer as I have been thinking about my opportunities, I recognize that there are plenty of things that I can do to learn and grow to my full potential. Opportunities to learn from Christ and others and opportunities to grow in faith. I have taken a step toward my interests by taking my job at camp, but there are other opportunities that I can take for others and for my future.
Even as I prepare for my first day at a new camp, I am scared. I'm scared of what is unknown. I'm scared of what I am unprepared for. I'm scared for what I am not in control of. Today I read from Matthew 14:22-33. This is the passage where Peter joins Jesus walking on water. Walking on water is an experience that would be an awesome and growing experience for Peter--but its scary! Yet he takes a step of faith, out onto the water. When he loses faith and begins to sink, Jesus reaches out and holds him up.
No matter what, life is going to bring uncomfortable situations. Life is going to bring scary situations. And think of all of the wonderful and growing experiences that I would miss out on, if I did not have faith. If I did not have courage. If I did not trust God. If I did not take the opportunity.
This summer and next year at Taylor, I am going to take opportunities. I'm going to take opportunities that are uncomfortable and scary--with faith, confidence, and courage.
Lord, give me the faith I need. I will not fear, for You've got big plans for me.
Praise Him.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
It's Always Time to Love
Today, I have been in a very weird mood. The beginning of the day was rather low, getting up early and frantically driving to a new job. Then it went on, very slowly, as I trained for CPR. Then, as I sat in my car in the rain, I recognized the wonder and beauty of the Lord. Coming home from a full day of work, I felt exhausted. I sat on the couch and didn't even want to play tetris! I was that tired.
Now, as I have come to notice in the years past, summer is a very exhausting time for me. My job usually requires me to "go, go, go!" and be up and alert in every situation. Then, once I return home, I either hurry to another job or hurry to go and hang out with friends. Either way, I exhaust myself. As soon as I become exhausted, I seem to back away from God. I'm too tired to invest my heart and mind in His word. I'm too exhausted to pray and think about the troubles that I don't want to think about. This usually begins on the first day of camp, and the whole summer goes down from there.
Today, on the first day of training, I already became exhausted when I got home. I just wanted to eat. I just wanted to watch television. I just wanted to sleep. Yes, I considered getting in the Word. In fact, I kind of wanted to, but I just was too tired.
Only through Christ did I choose to read my Bible tonight, and the story I read gave me a very interesting and odd realization.
The passage that I read was Matthew 14:1-21. The first section talks about the death of John the Baptist, and the second section talks about Jesus feeding the five thousand. Now, both of these stories are pretty familiar to me, and I really did not expect to glean anything different than I already knew--but of course, God had something different in mind.
What came to my attention was this verse:
This summer, I am going to be tired. I am going to have things that are distracting me from camp. I am going to have issues. But, I have a job to do. Not only a job at camp, but a job for the Lord. My job is to put Christ before my feelings, my issues, and my wants. My job is to have compassion on the kids at camp and those around me that need the love of God. My job is to stay fervently in the Word, even when I feel so tired. My job is to be a strong spirit in Christ, even if my body is weak.
Give me strength to do Your will and stick it out this summer.
Now, as I have come to notice in the years past, summer is a very exhausting time for me. My job usually requires me to "go, go, go!" and be up and alert in every situation. Then, once I return home, I either hurry to another job or hurry to go and hang out with friends. Either way, I exhaust myself. As soon as I become exhausted, I seem to back away from God. I'm too tired to invest my heart and mind in His word. I'm too exhausted to pray and think about the troubles that I don't want to think about. This usually begins on the first day of camp, and the whole summer goes down from there.
Today, on the first day of training, I already became exhausted when I got home. I just wanted to eat. I just wanted to watch television. I just wanted to sleep. Yes, I considered getting in the Word. In fact, I kind of wanted to, but I just was too tired.
Only through Christ did I choose to read my Bible tonight, and the story I read gave me a very interesting and odd realization.
The passage that I read was Matthew 14:1-21. The first section talks about the death of John the Baptist, and the second section talks about Jesus feeding the five thousand. Now, both of these stories are pretty familiar to me, and I really did not expect to glean anything different than I already knew--but of course, God had something different in mind.
What came to my attention was this verse:
"Now when Jesus heard [that John the Baptist had died], he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and had compassion on them and healed their sick." -Matthew 14:13-14Jesus went to be by himself in a desolate place, because he was mourning the loss of one of his best friends. He was sad, and wanted to be alone. Yet, the crowds came and followed him. Okay, lets put ourselves in that position. Your best friend dies, and a bunch of people come up to you and want you to give them advice or help them. What would you do? I can tell you what I'd do! I would get very annoyed and angry, ignore them, and go anywhere that I could to get away from them. But lets pull out the WWJD! What would Jesus do? He had compassion on them and healed them.
This summer, I am going to be tired. I am going to have things that are distracting me from camp. I am going to have issues. But, I have a job to do. Not only a job at camp, but a job for the Lord. My job is to put Christ before my feelings, my issues, and my wants. My job is to have compassion on the kids at camp and those around me that need the love of God. My job is to stay fervently in the Word, even when I feel so tired. My job is to be a strong spirit in Christ, even if my body is weak.
Give me strength to do Your will and stick it out this summer.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Quit Your Grumbling!
I found another way to show Christ during camp this summer!
Since I am pretty good at complaining, I will probably need to start working on that now if I ever want to stick to it this summer! (Finals is a great time to quit grumbling)
May my voice be filled with praise and not complaints, God.
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, 15that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. - Philippians 2:14-16How easy is it going to be to complain during camp? Let me tell you, as a 3 year camp counselor, it will be very easy to complain. I'm sure the other counselors will be complaining too! My goal should be to show Christ through keeping from complaining and grumbling. Believe it or not, that could be a great witness!
Since I am pretty good at complaining, I will probably need to start working on that now if I ever want to stick to it this summer! (Finals is a great time to quit grumbling)
May my voice be filled with praise and not complaints, God.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
An Unworthy Servant
So, I find it interesting that today I just happened to stumble upon this verse:
How many of you readers out there would consider yourself a servant? I mean, when you think about your identity- when you think about you as a person, does the word title of servant come to mind? Well, if you're like me, it doesn't.
A servant is the lowest of the lowest. Someone who is indebted to a master. Someone who does not "own" themselves. Someone who is required to fulfill specific duties. Someone who is undeserving. Does that describe you?
Yes, I am indebted to Christ. Yes, I am expected to fulfill specific duties. But do I recognize my lowly position? Do I recognize that I am undeserving? No.
I am an unworthy servant and it is only when I recognize myself as one, that I can truly realize the joy I have in being a servant for Christ. It is only when I realize my lowly estate that I can rejoice in following God's holy and righteous commands. (Psalm 119)
When I became a Christian, I knew I was a sinner. Even now, I know I'm a sinner. Yet, I somehow think that I am in control of this thing that we all call life. I somehow think that I deserve something for the way that I live. I somehow think that I deserved to be loved by God.
Lord, open my eyes. May I stand before you one day and say,
"I am an unworthy servant, and I have only done what is my duty."
"So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'" -Luke 17:10Hmm...is God trying to tell me something? How about: be humble!
How many of you readers out there would consider yourself a servant? I mean, when you think about your identity- when you think about you as a person, does the word title of servant come to mind? Well, if you're like me, it doesn't.
A servant is the lowest of the lowest. Someone who is indebted to a master. Someone who does not "own" themselves. Someone who is required to fulfill specific duties. Someone who is undeserving. Does that describe you?
Yes, I am indebted to Christ. Yes, I am expected to fulfill specific duties. But do I recognize my lowly position? Do I recognize that I am undeserving? No.
I am an unworthy servant and it is only when I recognize myself as one, that I can truly realize the joy I have in being a servant for Christ. It is only when I realize my lowly estate that I can rejoice in following God's holy and righteous commands. (Psalm 119)
When I became a Christian, I knew I was a sinner. Even now, I know I'm a sinner. Yet, I somehow think that I am in control of this thing that we all call life. I somehow think that I deserve something for the way that I live. I somehow think that I deserved to be loved by God.
Lord, open my eyes. May I stand before you one day and say,
"I am an unworthy servant, and I have only done what is my duty."
Monday, May 16, 2011
Penetrate My Inmost Being
Today a friend shared some wisdom with me. We were talking about heaven and how we would respond if God asked: "Why should I let you into heaven?" He talked about how his prof had recently shared that most people (Christians and non-Christians) would respond by saying: "I've....been a good person" or "I've.....dedicated my life to You" or "I....read my Bible a lot"
What would you say?
To be honest, before I heard the end of this story, I realized that I would probably say, "I did my best to follow You" -or something along those lines. But the prof had said that we have it all wrong- its not about us. Its not about you. Its not about me.
I don't deserve heaven. Jesus is the reason I am invited there.
I feel like I have heard things like this before. (This is one of those times where the cliché statement seems to finally sink in...) I know that Jesus is why I can enter heaven. I know that Jesus is why I can come to God at all. Yet, does my life reflect this humility?
As I sat there, I wondered if I could ever naturally respond to God with that level of humility, or with that level of recognition for Christ. If that was my natural response, what would my life look like?
This confirmed the huge level of my pride and self-focus. If I would answer without a second thought that it was because of Jesus that I could stand before the throne of God, my life would be so very different. I would see little need to be focused on things such as Facebook or Twitter. I would see little need to go first in line or buy the cutest shoes. I would see little reason to stress out about school or work. My focus would be Christ. My goal would be to love like He did (John 13:34-35). My life would be completely a reflection of His sacrifice for me.
Penetrate my inmost being God. Humble me to recognize and understand what You did for me.
What would you say?
To be honest, before I heard the end of this story, I realized that I would probably say, "I did my best to follow You" -or something along those lines. But the prof had said that we have it all wrong- its not about us. Its not about you. Its not about me.
I don't deserve heaven. Jesus is the reason I am invited there.
I feel like I have heard things like this before. (This is one of those times where the cliché statement seems to finally sink in...) I know that Jesus is why I can enter heaven. I know that Jesus is why I can come to God at all. Yet, does my life reflect this humility?
As I sat there, I wondered if I could ever naturally respond to God with that level of humility, or with that level of recognition for Christ. If that was my natural response, what would my life look like?
This confirmed the huge level of my pride and self-focus. If I would answer without a second thought that it was because of Jesus that I could stand before the throne of God, my life would be so very different. I would see little need to be focused on things such as Facebook or Twitter. I would see little need to go first in line or buy the cutest shoes. I would see little reason to stress out about school or work. My focus would be Christ. My goal would be to love like He did (John 13:34-35). My life would be completely a reflection of His sacrifice for me.
Penetrate my inmost being God. Humble me to recognize and understand what You did for me.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
The Joy of the Lord
Today-
God has given me so much to be thankful for, even just in this day alone.
The immense joy that I feel, right now and in this day, is only a joy that can come from my glorious sovereign and all-powerful Father.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
as I walked outside with the sun shining,
as I sang in worship with the gospel choir,
as I prayed for those who are close to my heart,
as I experienced the warm weather,
as I listened as my peers reflected on those whom they look up to,
as I reflected on my life here at Taylor-I realized how well off I am.
God has given me so much to be thankful for, even just in this day alone.
The immense joy that I feel, right now and in this day, is only a joy that can come from my glorious sovereign and all-powerful Father.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Lost Sheep
As I began to prepare for this summer, I wanted to find some scripture that was directly related to the type of ministry that I am planning to do this summer. I wanted to find scripture about reaching out to those that have not found Christ. I asked my DA to help me find some verses that correlated with this purpose, and that led me to Luke 15:1-7.
This summer I need to learn from this example of Christ. No, I would not consider myself "The Great Shepherd," but I do have a responsibility to let God use me to find these lost sheep. Even if God will only use me to find one sheep, I am up for the challenge.
God, show me your lost sheep. Use me to bring them back.
1Now the tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to hear him. 2And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, "This man receives sinners and eats with them."Wow, now that is some dedication! The shepherd left his sheep in open country and sought after one lost sheep? Jesus sought after one lost me. I didn't deserve it. Heck, I wandered off! That didn't matter though. Christ came and found me.
3So he told them this parable: 4"What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it?5And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing. 6And when he comes home, he calls together his friends and his neighbors, saying to them, 'Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep that was lost.' 7Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.
This summer I need to learn from this example of Christ. No, I would not consider myself "The Great Shepherd," but I do have a responsibility to let God use me to find these lost sheep. Even if God will only use me to find one sheep, I am up for the challenge.
God, show me your lost sheep. Use me to bring them back.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Take this Opportunity
As I talked with a friend yesterday, I realized something. I am unfamiliar with non-Christians. Okay, so yes- I do have friends that used to be Christians but later changed their minds- but I don't have any friends that are unfamiliar with Christianity or have never been surrounded by Christians in some area of their lives. My focus of "witnessing" and showing the love of Christ has been more focused on discipling fellow Christians or loving on my friends who have fallen away.
Although that is a good way to "witness," I feel like (with my future especially) I need to become familiar with sharing Christ to non-Christians. I need to get out of my comfort zone of only discipling fellow Christians and become able to share/love on those who do not know Christ. There are so many possibilities that loving non-Christians will be a huge part of my life in the future: teaching at public school, becoming a missionary, or teaching overseas. I need to step outside of my little Christian-schooled comfort zone and love on others who are unaware that they have been made in God's image.
This summer I have a new job. Rather than my comfortable little Christian day camp, I am working at a non-Christian camp in a more inner city location. This is my first real opportunity to learn how to show God to kids who don't know Him. I'm very scared and honestly uncomfortable, but nonetheless this is my opportunity.
Before most adventures that God sends me on, I must admit I am bad a preparing. If I am going on a missions trip, I'll barely pray about it or read the book we are supposed to. Even for camp the past few years, I have not been very intentional about reading the Bible with camp in mind or praying about camp. This year is going to be different. This is a specific opportunity that God has given to me, not only to prepare me for the future, but to make me uncomfortable for Him.
God, use me this summer. Make me a vessel for you to everyone--every walking, breathing, living image of You
Although that is a good way to "witness," I feel like (with my future especially) I need to become familiar with sharing Christ to non-Christians. I need to get out of my comfort zone of only discipling fellow Christians and become able to share/love on those who do not know Christ. There are so many possibilities that loving non-Christians will be a huge part of my life in the future: teaching at public school, becoming a missionary, or teaching overseas. I need to step outside of my little Christian-schooled comfort zone and love on others who are unaware that they have been made in God's image.
This summer I have a new job. Rather than my comfortable little Christian day camp, I am working at a non-Christian camp in a more inner city location. This is my first real opportunity to learn how to show God to kids who don't know Him. I'm very scared and honestly uncomfortable, but nonetheless this is my opportunity.
Before most adventures that God sends me on, I must admit I am bad a preparing. If I am going on a missions trip, I'll barely pray about it or read the book we are supposed to. Even for camp the past few years, I have not been very intentional about reading the Bible with camp in mind or praying about camp. This year is going to be different. This is a specific opportunity that God has given to me, not only to prepare me for the future, but to make me uncomfortable for Him.
God, use me this summer. Make me a vessel for you to everyone--every walking, breathing, living image of You
Monday, May 9, 2011
Emotions!?
As I reflected on my spiritual life recently, I thought about writing that I've hit the low point of my circle. I've hit that point in the road where things are going great and God is fading slowly into the background. But of course, right before I began to type 3 different situations arose. 3 situations that I had absolutely no control of.
In the first situation, God did something awesome. He transformed a heart. He gave a soul bravery. He showed love, mercy, and repentance. In this situation, I could not help but to cry in acknowledgement of a Holy and Awesome God.
In situation number 2, I was reminded of a need for God in a friends life. My heart was broken for her. Worldliness has overcome her life and caused her to feel a strong separation from God. In this I could not help but to look to God for help. I could not help but cling to God for help for a friend and recognize that He has a perfect plan.
In the final situation, I was confused. I did not know which path to choose, which words to say, which decisions to make. In this I was able to trust in God, and trust that He has my best interest in mind. Trust that He loves me and no matter what, He is there for me.
On this day, where I felt fairly distant from God, it literally took a matter of moments before I realized that He is in control. I can't just go through my life without recognizing His presence. He is here and I need Him.
Praise God.
In the first situation, God did something awesome. He transformed a heart. He gave a soul bravery. He showed love, mercy, and repentance. In this situation, I could not help but to cry in acknowledgement of a Holy and Awesome God.
In situation number 2, I was reminded of a need for God in a friends life. My heart was broken for her. Worldliness has overcome her life and caused her to feel a strong separation from God. In this I could not help but to look to God for help. I could not help but cling to God for help for a friend and recognize that He has a perfect plan.
In the final situation, I was confused. I did not know which path to choose, which words to say, which decisions to make. In this I was able to trust in God, and trust that He has my best interest in mind. Trust that He loves me and no matter what, He is there for me.
On this day, where I felt fairly distant from God, it literally took a matter of moments before I realized that He is in control. I can't just go through my life without recognizing His presence. He is here and I need Him.
Praise God.
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