Reminded of a Blessing

Today Mark began his sermon (Taste and See: The Lord is Good!) on Psalm 34 by asking a question: Have you ever had a "close call"?  The kind of experience where if one small detail would have been different, someone would have been seriously hurt or even killed?

My mind instantly flashed back to last summer.  It was the last week of camp and I had caught a fever.  All night I had been lying on the couch crying because of my discomfort and exhaustion.  I went up to bed around 9:30.  A few hours later my dad came into my room and woke me up.  He said that Reagan, my best friend in the world, had been in a car crash and was headed to the hospital with her sister.  All I knew at the time was that Reagan seemed to be alright, but they weren't sure about her sister.

Immediately I broke down.  I began crying and praying out to God for their safety.  A million things flashed through my mind during that time, but mainly the fact that they needed to be okay.

Reagan and her sister had been taking the highway on their way home when an ambulance began to merge into their lane.  The ambulance did not use its turning signal and therefore took Reagan off guard.  In an attempt to not get hit, her car ended up flipping one and a half times, landing upside down on the median.

Later Reagan informed me that she had only received some soreness in her back and Paige made it out with a cut above her eye and a broken nose.

Now that was a close call.

Remembering that night brought back the tears and emotions that I had felt that night, and more.  Since the accident, I had attempted to help Reagan heal from it and listened as she talked about it, but I had not thought through it myself.

Reagan has been my best friend for a few years now.  We have laughed together, cried together, learned together, grown together, struggled together, listened to Regina Spektor together, driven together, bowled together, sang together, worshiped together, read together, watched movies together, and so on.  On the outside, some may see our friendship as sarcastic, funny, random, or crazy, but what they may not see is that there is so much more.  Reagan and I have grown so much in our faith because of the encouragement we have received from one another.  We feel comfortable sharing everything with each other, and know that the other will listen, understand, advise, and pray.  Reagan has been there for me through more of the pain, struggles, joy, and over comings in my life than anyone else has.   She has loved me no matter what, encouraged me at the perfect times, listened to me when I needed, prayed with me, and more.  Her house has become my house and her family has become my family.

Rethinking the car crash showed me how absolutely thankful I am for her.  I am thankful that God blessed me with such a godly best friend who has an incredible love for others.  I am thankful that He spared her and her sister that night, because without her, I don't know how I would have made it through freshman year.  I could always talk to her when I felt alone, I could always tell her the things I didn't trust other people with, I could always count on her not to judge me but to advise me, I could count on her to sporadically encourage me, and I know she prayed for me a lot this year.

Today, I'm reminded of a blessing- one of the biggest blessings that God has given me in my life.


God, thank you for Reagan Mallory Kelley.

Have Faith and Move Forward

During freshman year, I have realized an interest that I have in either teaching inner-city or overseas.  This realization has shown me something that would be incredible but also incredibly uncomfortable.  This summer as I have been thinking about my opportunities, I recognize that there are plenty of things that I can do to learn and grow to my full potential.  Opportunities to learn from Christ and others and opportunities to grow in faith.  I have taken a step toward my interests by taking my job at camp, but there are other opportunities that I can take for others and for my future.

Even as I prepare for my first day at a new camp, I am scared.  I'm scared of what is unknown.  I'm scared of what I am unprepared for.  I'm scared for what I am not in control of.  Today I read from Matthew 14:22-33.  This is the passage where Peter joins Jesus walking on water.  Walking on water is an experience that would be an awesome and growing experience for Peter--but its scary!  Yet he takes a step of faith, out onto the water.  When he loses faith and begins to sink, Jesus reaches out and holds him up.

No matter what, life is going to bring uncomfortable situations.  Life is going to bring scary situations.  And think of all of the wonderful and growing experiences that I would miss out on, if I did not have faith. If I did not have courage.  If I did not trust God.  If I did not take the opportunity.

This summer and next year at Taylor, I am going to take opportunities.  I'm going to take opportunities that  are uncomfortable and scary--with faith, confidence, and courage.

Lord, give me the faith I need.  I will not fear, for You've got big plans for me.
Praise Him.

It's Always Time to Love

Today, I have been in a very weird mood.  The beginning of the day was rather low, getting up early and frantically driving to a new job.  Then it went on, very slowly, as I trained for CPR.  Then, as I sat in my car in the rain, I recognized the wonder and beauty of the Lord.  Coming home from a full day of work, I felt exhausted.  I sat on the couch and didn't even want to play tetris!  I was that tired.

Now, as I have come to notice in the years past, summer is a very exhausting time for me.  My job usually requires me to "go, go, go!" and be up and alert in every situation.  Then, once I return home, I either hurry to another job or hurry to go and hang out with friends.  Either way, I exhaust myself.  As soon as I become exhausted, I seem to back away from God.  I'm too tired to invest my heart and mind in His word.  I'm too exhausted to pray and think about the troubles that I don't want to think about.  This usually begins on the first day of camp, and the whole summer goes down from there.

Today, on the first day of training, I already became exhausted when I got home.  I just wanted to eat.  I just wanted to watch television.  I just wanted to sleep.  Yes, I considered getting in the Word.  In fact, I kind of wanted to, but I just was too tired.

Only through Christ did I choose to read my Bible tonight, and the story I read gave me a very interesting and odd realization.

The passage that I read was Matthew 14:1-21.  The first section talks about the death of John the Baptist, and the second section talks about Jesus feeding the five thousand.  Now, both of these stories are pretty familiar to me, and I really did not expect to glean anything different than I already knew--but of course, God had something different in mind.

What came to my attention was this verse:

"Now when Jesus heard [that John the Baptist had died], he withdrew from there in a boat to a desolate place by himself.  But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns.  When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and had compassion on them and healed their sick." -Matthew 14:13-14

Jesus went to be by himself in a desolate place, because he was mourning the loss of one of his best friends.  He was sad, and wanted to be alone.  Yet, the crowds came and followed him.  Okay, lets put ourselves in that position.  Your best friend dies, and a bunch of people come up to you and want you to give them advice or help them.  What would you do?  I can tell you what I'd do!  I would get very annoyed and angry, ignore them, and go anywhere that I could to get away from them.  But lets pull out the WWJD!  What would Jesus do?  He had compassion on them and healed them.

This summer, I am going to be tired.  I am going to have things that are distracting me from camp.  I am going to have issues.  But, I have a job to do.  Not only a job at camp, but a job for the Lord.  My job is to put Christ before my feelings, my issues, and my wants.  My job is to have compassion on the kids at camp and those around me that need the love of God.  My job is to stay fervently in the Word, even when I feel so tired.  My job is to be a strong spirit in Christ, even if my body is weak.

Give me strength to do Your will and stick it out this summer.

Quit Your Grumbling!

I found another way to show Christ during camp this summer!

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, ¹⁵that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, ¹⁶holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. - Philippians 2:14-16

 How easy is it going to be to complain during camp?  Let me tell you, as a 3 year camp counselor, it will be very easy to complain.  I'm sure the other counselors will be complaining too!  My goal should be to show Christ through keeping from complaining and grumbling.  Believe it or not, that could be a great witness!

Since I am pretty good at complaining, I will probably need to start working on that now if I ever want to stick to it this summer!  (Finals is a great time to quit grumbling)

May my voice be filled with praise and not complaints, God.

An Unworthy Servant

So, I find it interesting that today I just happened to stumble upon this verse:

"So you also, when you have done all that you were commanded, say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done what was our duty.'" -Luke 17:10

Hmm...is God trying to tell me something?  How about: be humble!

How many of you readers out there would consider yourself a servant?  I mean, when you think about your identity- when you think about you as a person, does the word title of servant come to mind?  Well, if you're like me, it doesn't.

A servant is the lowest of the lowest.  Someone who is indebted to a master.  Someone who does not "own" themselves.  Someone who is required to fulfill specific duties.  Someone who is undeserving.  Does that describe you?

Yes, I am indebted to Christ.  Yes, I am expected to fulfill specific duties.  But do I recognize my lowly position?  Do I recognize that I am undeserving?  No.

I am an unworthy servant and it is only when I recognize myself as one, that I can truly realize the joy I have in being a servant for Christ.  It is only when I realize my lowly estate that I can rejoice in following God's holy and righteous commands.  (Psalm 119)

When I became a Christian, I knew I was a sinner.  Even now, I know I'm a sinner.  Yet, I somehow think that I am in control of this thing that we all call life.  I somehow think that I deserve something for the way that I live.  I somehow think that I deserved to be loved by God.

Lord, open my eyes.  May I stand before you one day and say,

"I am an unworthy servant, and I have only done what is my duty."

Penetrate My Inmost Being

Today a friend shared some wisdom with me.  We were talking about heaven and how we would respond if God asked: "Why should I let you into heaven?"  He talked about how his prof had recently shared that most people (Christians and non-Christians) would respond by saying: "I've....been a good person" or "I've.....dedicated my life to You" or "I....read my Bible a lot"

What would you say?

To be honest, before I heard the end of this story, I realized that I would probably say, "I did my best to follow You" -or something along those lines.  But the prof had said that we have it all wrong- its not about us.  Its not about you.  Its not about me.

I don't deserve heaven.  Jesus is the reason I am invited there.

I feel like I have heard things like this before.  (This is one of those times where the cliché statement seems to finally sink in...)  I know that  Jesus is why I can enter heaven.  I know that Jesus is why I can come to God at all.  Yet, does my life reflect this humility?

As I sat there, I wondered if I could ever naturally respond to God with that level of humility, or with that level of recognition for Christ.  If that was my natural response, what would my life look like?

This confirmed the huge level of my pride and self-focus.  If I would answer without a second thought that it was because of Jesus that I could stand before the throne of God, my life would be so very different.  I would see little need to be focused on things such as Facebook or Twitter.  I would see little need to go first in line or buy the cutest shoes.  I would see little reason to stress out about school or work.  My focus would be Christ.  My goal would be to love like He did (John 13:34-35).  My life would be completely a reflection of His sacrifice for me.

Penetrate my inmost being God.  Humble me to recognize and understand what You did for me.

The Joy of the Lord

Today-

as I walked outside with the sun shining,

as I sang in worship with the gospel choir,

as I prayed for those who are close to my heart, 

as I experienced the warm weather,

as I listened as my peers reflected on those whom they look up to, 

as I reflected on my life here at Taylor

-I realized how well off I am.

God has given me so much to be thankful for, even just in this day alone.

The immense joy that I feel, right now and in this day, is only a joy that can come from my glorious sovereign and all-powerful Father.

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.